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Sunday, April 10, 2016

Bernie and the Bigot

Confronted by an anti-Semitic heckler, Bernie Sanders finally said he's proud to be a Jew. But because the heckler also used the magic word Zionist, Sanders also made sure to criticize Israel in his response. Why? Does he imagine he changed the bigot's mind with the message, "I'm one of the good Jews, so don't hate me--hate those evil oppressive Israelis!" Not a chance. For the bigot, a Jew's a Jew. The only message appropriate to give a bigot is, "I am proud of who I am. The problem is yours."

Thursday, March 3, 2016

An Open Letter From Lucifer

Dear Republican Elites,
I am frankly hurt and puzzled by thy behavior recently. Thou mayest not realize it, but even the Prince of Darkness hath feelings (and no, neither Karl Rove nor Dick Cheney hath the right to that title).
When my faithful servant Tricky Dick Nixon didst sign my Pact of Blood, aka "The Southern Strategy," I thought its terms were perfectly clear unto thee and thine. Thou didst purchase the racist white vote, which I did take from the Democrats and bestow upon thee and thine, at the price of thy immortal soul. Thou couldst camouflage this Pact, and I did not stop thee when thou didst thusly, by pretending it was about "Law and Order," as my faithful servant Tricky Dick did, or by ranting about "States' Rights" while standing upon the blood of three civil rights workers, as did St. Ronnie of the Blessed Tax Cut, or by frightening the punters with the Scary Black Rapist Willie Horton, as did St. George of the Thank-You Note.
Thus didst thee and thine obtain the South and the Presidency for a generation and more.
Now my faithful servant, The Donald, is "calling in thy note," as I believe my servants on Wall Street refer to it. And thou actest all shocked and upset, and art claiming to be the Party of Lincoln and not racists at all. Yet I have it on good authority from my spies Upstairs that Honest Abe did rip his party membership card to tear-stained shreds sometime in the early 1970's, perhaps when my faithful servant Tricky Dick was drunkenly bellowing into a hidden microphone his true thoughts about the Blacks and the Jews.
I must therefore remind thee and thine of the terms of our Pact. Thou mayest not disavow the racism that obtained for thee and thine all those votes, lest thou alienate the Rednecks that are thy base. I am the Prince of Darkness who gave unto thee all the kingdoms of the world. For a little while, at least.
With love from thy Master,

Friday, February 12, 2016

A Heartwarming Tale for Valentine's Day!

"Being in love means never having to say you're sorry," but being a WRITER means you get to portray the girl you were desperately in love with, who wasn't interested in YOU, as a tragic heroine who dies a lingering, painful death! And the book makes you rich and famous! Ha ha ha!

Monday, February 8, 2016

Iran's Nuclear Weapons Program: The Beat Goes On

Iran continues to hide its nuclear weapons program despite the "masterly diplomatic breakthrough" orchestrated by Obama and Kerry. According to Michael Dobbs's 2008 book on the Cuban Missile Crisis, the CIA was off in its estimates of Soviet nuclear missiles placed in Cuba by a factor of something like 10. So why would anyone assume the IAEA has found all there is to be found in Iran?

Thursday, January 28, 2016

"When Bad Men Combine"

Donald Trump is no conservative. One of the fathers of modern conservatism, the eighteenth century Englishman Edmund Burke, knew what the response of conservatives, liberals, and anybody decent in America should be to an inciter of mobs like Trump: "When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle."